Functions of Guilt-1

Jason

My brothers weight problem has been a hot topic with my parents ever since it began. The main issue of him gaining weight, stemmed from an early reward system, involving my brother obtaining a large slurpee, daily (A slurpee is a surgary drink). This need to be gratified, soon became an addiction and as he began seeking gratification, the pounds began adding up over the years.

Although a bicycle was made available to him several times, things would always happen to them, they would go missing, be left and stolen, etc. As this happened more and more with the various tactics my parents used to try to get him to lose weight, he realised that the more weight he gained, the worse my parents would feel for him, the more attention they would give him and the more free shit they would give him for feeling bad.

Them giving him this attention, was a function of their guilt over his developmental disability, which even before the weight issue, they struggled to deal with. My brother easily exploited this guilt, by gaining more weight and my parents increasing reaction to it, only gave my brothers weight more purpose and reason to exist.. Function. Yes, my brothers weight problem actually became a functional, contextual adaptation of his life, relying on my parents unmanaged guilt to thrive, which it did.

Finally, my dad snapped one day and bought my brother a $2500 treadmill, one that could support his already massive frame.. But this purchase was as much a function of my brother exploiting their guilt, as it was for my parents to actually absolve themselves of this guilt. That treadmill, my brother used maybe three times.. He had actually begged for it, but only because of my parents increasing requests for him to use it, driven by their guilt. Those requests for him to use it, were met defensively and as my brother is emotionally abused, he is quick to begin to allow his emotions out of control.

Laughing one minute, once the treadmill is brought up, he can turn totally irate and out of control, red in the face, almost like a bi-polar mood swing, but this is just a testament to how damaged his emotions are. How fitting, that my parents must deal with what they dished out .. Alas, after the failure of the treadmill, their guilt spun out of control, as they could no longer project their guilt over my brothers weight, onto him and so, began to project onto each other instead.

Without question, I believe that my parents guilt and my brothers parasitic reaction to it, spurred his weight problem on more and more. He had always searched for an oulet, where my parents would have to pay attention to him, from suicide attempts to running away, but this was the method he had always been looking for. Today, my brother is at an all time high weight, barely able to walk anymore and my parents have given up, seemingly. Their attempts today, are simply keeping him stocked in food. That is all. Their guilt, still wildly out of control, has forced them to remove themselves from the purpose of trying to help my brother, since they can barely emotionally, help themselves. This was a good move, but unfortunately, made way to late and allowed my brother to take advantage of them in ways he would of never been able to otherwise.

This folks, is a function of guilt: Exploitation.

 

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