I love awkward. Most people have no real concept of the idea, I mean, the social discomfort level that it can bring; as an example, sometimes, when I feel the time and crowd is right, like right after introducing myself, i’ll look over everyone I just met and say “Alright.. So, you guys wanna fuck!?” I get three responses usually: One or two women who immediately jump up and are like “yeaaaaahhh!!!”, which usually transitions into who can violate who’s space more, like a contest of sorts. Secondly, everyone laughs, but me, until I take a second to glace everyone other and am like “But.. Seriously,” then bask in the glorious silence. Third, is obviously just dead silence. Mission accomplished.

Once the silence hits, I start looking for the person who is desperately trying to not make eye contact.. You know, the one who dreads awkward situations and will try to avoid them at all costs.. Nope, sorry, not today! This is the best part, simply singling out that person and turning the crowd against them, saying something like “Hey.. Don’t be scared, nobody is gonna hurt you.. Except me.”


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