In without question, the worst time of my life, in the throws of severe addiction, anxiety and a will to not conform that makes anything I do today look like standing in a line up at Walmart.. There was FingerMyUrethra. All of the tracks are so cringe worthy I cannot even listen to them today, they are absolutely terrible hahaha, but you gotta remember where you come from, at all times and this SoundCloud account is probably the worst reminder of those times. Apparently, my shit is still getting plays, although I do not have the slightest clue why.
At one point, I had over 40 tracks on my page, but removed quite a few of them, after realizing those tracks detailed some pretty fucked up shit I did/had done that would of definitely bit me in the ass if I had been exposed.
Sometimes, I think I am toiling with my existence today, then I take one look at that page and remember how far I have come. Nothing of significance was born of the hobby, but it was the outlet I needed to stop doing really retarded, self destructive shit. I figured i’d share this, since this hobby laid the ground work for the positive life I lead today and running away from that is just silly.
It is so crazy to think of the double life I was living at that time, working in the same capacity I do today, but engaging in such a hypocritical lifestyle in contrast to my work that being exposed would of costed me not just my job, but my career and I still had no reserves about doing it.. Hopelessness embodied into reality, is really what the page represents. I did have a couple good free styles though.
I wish it let me post a link to the page, instead of all the tracks, because holy fuck they are terrible, even worse than I remember them being, hahahaha. This is probably the most courageous post i’ve made on my blog so far, actually yeah it definitely is and I am really glad I will get to moderate the comments on it lol. Roast me if you wish, it doesn’t bother me any.